Rest Stop (2006)

Rest Stop (2006)
Director: John Shiban
Starring: Jamie Alexander
Screenplay by: John Shiban

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This movie sucks. Sucks. I give it a holy crap this movie sucks. Because I am rendered partially speechless by the utter suckitude of this film I shall repost my netflix review of said film in its entirety below. :


"I am a huge fan of random slaughterfests of this sort, and the concept of this movie is extremely interesting (and has the potential for real scares). A lonely rest stop miles from nowhere, an inhumanly cruel, faceless threat: it sounds like the basis for an interesting film. OH, HOWEVER...this has to be one of the most "confused" horror movies I've seen. I'm not sure exactly where it all went wrong: the writer? the director? the actors? the HUGE AND GAPING PLOT HOLES? The answer is probebly a little bit of everything. Despite having "borrowed" ideas from three or four better horror films, this film is filled with the kind of ridiculous actions / reactions / premises that are usually only reserved for low budget horror movies made in someone's back yard. I suspect that the writer and/or directer felt they were being somehow mysterious or clever at key points, but really there is nothing mysterious or clever in this film; there are only ridiculously unlikeable characters, enormous plot holes, pointless scenes, unconnected characters and events and zero explanation. A side note, if there was any truth in advertisitng the alternate endings described as "each one scarier than the next" would need to be changed to "each one more puzzlingly stupid than the next." "

I first have to say, that the review above is a rarity, I seldom, if ever, bother with reviews on netflix (or at all if you notice the frequency, or lack thereof, with which I'm placing reviews on this page). I just couldn't stop myself this time though. I thought, if I could just get one person to delete this movie from their queue then I will have done a very good deed. I hate movies that seem SLICK and turn out worse than most low-budget, backwoods, dentist-directed ex-genius crapfests (I'll give three dollars to anyone who can figure out what movie I just referenced). Now, some movies have low budget sillyness I can get behind; movies like, "There's nothing out there" (a self-aware goof fest)and even "Manos, Hands of Fate" (whose only charm is its successful MST3K-ification). But I hate movies that are oblivious to their own failure. I am positive that the filmmaker, director, whatever: John Shiban thought this was a tour-de-force, I mean after all JOEY LAWRENCE IS IN IT! (And in the only accidentally funny scene in the movie...I laughed for like 10 minutes, I'm stifling a giggle now as I shake my head over the shame of it). And there is where it all went wrong. Why set out to make a "type of movie?" Make a good movie, tell a good story, make me scared. This film was sadly all candy coating with no center. (I would swear they spent the majority of the filming budget on corn syrup and the editing for the trailer.)

So, now I'm at an impasse, I can't think of a way to talk about horror theory in relation to this movie. Maybe I'll just say this: sometimes what scares us doesn't need to be made so obvious. I'm thinking of movies like "Last Broadcast" (almost perfect...if it wasn't for those last four minutes), or even the love-it/hate-it "Blair Witch Project" where the thing that frightens us isn't shown, it is imagined. Isn't the fear in the imagining of the horror? The anticipation of it? This film had all the makings of something interesting...if it just hadn't tried to explain anything at all, for when it tried it failed quickly and left more holes than ideas. Nothing came together, but not in an interesting Gestalt kind of way...just in a "dammit, I want my two hours back" way. Stupid movie.

Side notes:
The main character is probebly the most dislikable character I have ever experienced in a horror movie. This was a very strange direction for the film to take: usually we like the main character, it is important to like them, for we want them to live. Taking the unconventional approach in this movie, making the main character a whiney, unlikable, useless dingbat really backfired (unless that was the point, but I just can't fathom what the point of doing this ON PURPOSE would be), I think? Oh, who can tell.